Today, I am going to resist swinging from one extreme to the other. No catastrophizing today. Generally, I don't like to colour any one situation with any one colour, anyway - even though I tend to fall down that hole, especially during times of stress, anxiety, and a perceived lack of control. I do believe life is full of nuance, overlap, diversity, give and take, various hats, and responsibilities. Maybe that's why I resist being identified as a label more and more. No one label is who I am; stereotypes lead to misunderstanding and simplistic thinking. Yet, at the same time, I do believe knowing what your values are and knowing what is consistent and unchanging in your world is a good thing. We all need an anchor to attach our ship, or we run the risk of floundering in the middle of chaos, never landing and never growing. Metaphorically and for-really, "setting down roots" is a good thing.
I've been doing some time interacting with counsellors, mostly young things with not much life experience. At the same time, I don't want to dismiss where anyone is or has been - even I was there at one time. After all, this is about the journey, is it not? I was responding to someone earlier today - how important it is to people that the one we go to for support has more than a passing knowledge on that which we need support. Something that is grounded and unchanging. My example was - it is important for me when I go to a cosmetic store (say, MAC or Sephora) that the make-up artist who is helping me is at least 45 years old. Over 50 would be nice. "They all have training on all skin types," I'm told. But let's be real - "training" on aging skin versus "having to do your own face of aging skin every day" hold definite differences. My skin was lovely when I was in my 20s, 30s, and even 40s were good. Now, at 60+? It's a nightmare!! I get why women my age and older just throw on moisturizer and go!
So, what does this have to do with our reality today? good question.
I might be a certain "maturity", but I don't fit many stereotypes of that age. I'm reading about "the patriarchy" and "misogyny" and I don't get where the vitriol is coming from. Blaming these two external things for the misery in one's life. I'm not saying that either of those words has no relevance in the world today, but I'm wondering where the relevance vs one's personal responsibility and control diverge? And don't get me wrong either - there is a definite 'nudge' towards a way of life that people perceived was better in the "past". However, I will come again and say there are those nuances again - yes, Part A, B, and C might have been better, but there are also Part D, E, and F that were not. (Families might have been 'stronger' but there were no dishwashers! Or Mom might have stayed home, but also she wasn't able to have her own bank account.) We have moved beyond parts D, E, and F into something much better - not perfect, but better. And to return to the "past" does a massive disservice to our growth to now. Nuances. Both/and. Not either/or. Why can't we have BOTH a strong family AND a dishwasher?
I came across a word recently - quantum thinking. It means (as per Google AI): a way of thinking that considers all possible outcomes of a situation, even if they contradict our preconceived notions. It encourages us to embrace uncertainty, and to accept that truth doesn't always have to make sense. [Going to ignore wrestling with the meaning of the word 'truth' for now.] Quantum thinking challenges our assumptions, categories, and structures and invites us to embrace paradoxes, uncertainties, and ambiguities. It is not a simple concept. It nudges us to embrace critically questioning the validity of all information, breaking a concept apart into different points of view to construct a new solution. I also recently came across another thought that is part of this - The Theory of Stupidity. According to this (which plays out in many realms of life!), Stupidity is in direct opposition to Quantum Thinking. Stupidity is a mindset of certainty with no need to question, because the almighty "I" am right, whereas Quantum Thinking is the mindset of inquiry and at least senses there is more than that "I". Our world is full of Stupidity, of that I have no doubt. At the same time, understanding the difference between the two, it is crucial that I hold up a mirror regularly and check to see if I see that reflection of me in the mirror.
How about I examine each of those at a later time?
At this point - let's turn the flashlight on a few areas of the world around us now. (A) Canada, (B) USA, (C) the World. Honestly, you'd think that if Darwin was right, we wouldn't be going through the chaos that swirls around today! As humanity, we would have grown beyond it. But no - the pernicious creeping of dangerous corruption is strong. Maybe it's not as noticeable today because everyone thinks they are an expert, and no one can pull the wool over their eyes. Oh, Humanity, you are fascinating! And so off-the-rails! Your train is about to go off a cliff and the tracks are nowhere in sight!
I wrote on my FB recently about control - how to let go of what I have no control over and manage what I have control over. And what is that which I control? How I respond to things. The things in my life - for the most part - I might be able to influence the outcome of a situation, but do I control that outcome? No. Too many variables. But inside me, how I respond to that incident, and those outcomes - THAT I do have complete control over.
Tony Robbins had a free 3-day event last weekend. And that came up in his teachings. Not in those words (though the thought was the same) - State/Story/Strategy: people think that if they get the right Strategy, they will change their reality. But the fact is -- first, they have to change their State of mind before they examine their Story. What do they tell themselves about the self? And then - find the Strategy to change. A huge part of this is how we see an obstacle in life. Or an identity we tell ourselves over and over (I'm a failure, I'm too old, I don't have ...) - that negative Story needs to shift or we (inside) will always endeavour to maintain a balance, and the negativity will never leave. If I believe I'm a failure, then the internal me will seek to maintain that in reality, which reinforces that Story. So, what do I have control over, again? My response. And, by extension, my Story. I might be old - how can that help me? I might have lost - how can that help me now? what lesson? what strength? what wisdom?
Back to Reality - Canada. I said in a previous entry that we're f*cked. And, I think, in part because of this all-or-nothing thinking. The hatred towards DT down south is strong - but, if you do a bit of quantum thinking, and look from the point of view that "life happens for you and not to you" (another Tony Robbins teaching), how could his presidency (which I truly have no control over) benefit me? Well, I am definitely getting a clear vision of what it means to be a Canadian. And, I am teaching it to my ESL students. I am determined to find a way to honour my fellow Canadians and support them wherever I can. I will persevere to impact whoever I can and be a positive influence in the world around me. I will pray for the leadership in the USA and Canada - that if things are going off the rails and those in power are becoming consumed with power for their own greed, to strengthen those that are about community and not self, who can influence the greed and power for the good of all. Not just the one.
It almost sounds like I'm taking on socialist concepts! Or maybe, even Marxist or Communistic beliefs!! But, I don't think so - I do believe in working for progress, using individual gifts and abilities. I do believe that we are NOT equal, though as a human we are. Some are stronger, some have more business acumen, some know how to manage better and inspire better. We each have our own gifts; in that we are not equal. But as humanity, a person, like Shylock says - "If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die?" All people need the same to live. Air. Health. Love. Respect. Compassion. However, one thing that does not get enough credit is that we all, also, need community. We are a village. None of us have been created to live on an island. And, as that village gets bigger and bigger, problems arise. Is that good? I don't know. It makes it much easier to lose track of those on the peripheral, to have people fall through the cracks and no one notices.
To be continued ... from my perspective, what is the reality for Canada today? What is the reality for the USA? for the world? and I know these are all a singular perspective - mine. But I will do my best to engage in Quantum Thinking as I reflect on these three areas and come to some kind of conclusion.
A good time to stop for a bit. To regroup my thoughts. Where to go from here? Observations are good.
Until the next time ...
