When Overwhelmed ...

... One Bite At A Time

Have you ever reached a point in your life where you don't know which way to turn? Where you're so far down the proverbial Rabbit Hole that you don't know how to get yourself out?  That point where you've put this and that aside for so long that you are surrounded with chaos and you feel like you're drowning in a million things that need to be done yesterday?

I kinda feel like that now. A little bit like I'm slowly, very slowly in slow motion - going under.

Here's the thing - I feel like I've been putting my life aside to catch up for most of my life.  And, that's an odd and not so comforting thought. Perhaps the closest I've come to 'living' in the moment, was the year I taught at CHS. My apartment was clean, my life was organized, I felt good about myself and I even dated. I haven't felt that since. But the years have passed and I look in the mirror and I am horrified - is that me? what happened?  where did my life go?  And, more importantly, can things still be changed?

This last week, I listened to a message by Rob Bell.  In it, he shared about a time when he was driving himself into the ground, and a buddy came to him and said, "Man, you don't have to live like this.  You don't have to live like this ... you DON'T have to live like this!" ... you DON'T have to LIVE like this ...Hey, you don't have to live like this. The whole of the message was about how religions through time demanded a sacrifice from their followers, how they believed that their god demanded something of them for their god to smile favorably on them and 'bless' them.  And now, even now, when your 'religion' is beauty or that perfect body, these "religions" (for, face it ... that's what they really are) still demand a 'sacrifice' from their followers.  And, sacrifices usually mean to give something up. And more often than not, that 'something' affects the rest of your life ... yes, sometimes in a positive way, but more often than not, in a negative way. 

Think of  my sister-in-law - her 'religion' was the desire to not grow old, to live the life she always wanted ... the sacrifice she gave? her family.  Think of those kids who are depressed - their 'religion' is a perfect life they think they should have ... the sacrifice they give? their life. Or the husband who's 'religion' is his job, his lifestyle - his sacrifice? time with his family.

The thing is, according to what I claim to believe - I don't have to live like this. I don't have to do things or make sacrifices to make my 'god' happy.  I have been redeemed so that it's not what I do for Him but about what He's done for me. So, in that, I've been set free. I've been set free from all that which makes others feel lesser-than, not up to others, a failure.

So, what does this have to do with being overwhelmed and catching up with life? What does this have to do with eating elephants? How does this all come together? Or does it? ...

Stay tuned, I'm not finished yet ...

An Introduction

Welcome to my little corner of the blogosphere! I have written a couple of blogs in my time, for one reason or another, and it seems that the time has come to begin another one. Perhaps as I explain the reason behind the names, the reason for this one will also become clear.

We live in a 'selfie-obsessed' world; if it has nothing to do with me, then I want nothing to do with it. We are encouraged to remove all negativity from our lives, including anything we disagree with. How often have I read memes on Facebook about how "if you were important to them, they would make time for you", because you are the most important part of this equation? When I stop and reflect on the people in my life, the ones that play an active role, the ones that flit by, and the ones that were once here and now gone, there is some expectation or weight balance that is often in play, something that I am not always aware of but have more than once found myself with the 'fuzzy end of the lollipop". I know we are different, and I'm ok with that ... not everyone else seems to be also. So, in all honesty, there will be a part of this blog given to 'navel-gazing', a me-focused part of my life-experience, as I ponder what I see and experience in the world around me.

This is the 'raindrop' piece - the smallest part of a big picture. This is the part that hits you on the head at the beginning of a rainstorm, the God-nudge to the soul. A raindrop, a teardrop, a bit of water that can change the world. In itself, it is harmless; one drop affects nothing. But when the drop begins to multiply - many tears, raindrops become a deluge - things can change. People can change, for the good or for the bad, healing or hurt, and worlds can change - a flood, destruction, a restructuring of landforms.

That's where the ocean, the star-gazing comes in. To look at a big picture, to make sense of the world around me, to ask questions, sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes I don't agree with the perspective, but to find a way to go there anyway. Because, I believe, in that discomfort, something great can come. It's like the idea of having to go through chaos to come to a place of purpose, of direction, of focus.

That is what this blog is all about ... from the small me-part to the big us-part, from chaos to purpose, from inward reflection to outward embracing.

* And the GMST part?? Simple - it stands for "Getting My Sh*t Together"! If you could see my world right now, you would wonder at my mental health.  Heck, I wonder at it myself! There are ample 'signs' that would suggest something is wrong, and, though I won't deny it, I will also say that I am aware of it. And, in that, I believe, I can still find a way out of it.  So, there will be a component to this blog that has to do with that piece, getting myself out of the rut I have put myself in - you, the Reader, might not understand the specifics, but I hope I can write in a way so you can find a connection to yourself, to help yourself in some way.

So, perhaps part of this will also fill that gap needed for accountability, for reporting and keeping myself on track. I know something is yet to come, but I have to remove this albatross from around my neck first, so I can be free to let go of 'me' and enter into the Purpose set out for me.  That song only I can sing, the dance only I can dance. There will be faith-talk, there will be discussions and reflections and observations, there will be sharings and challenges.  And, I hope that in the midst of what this blog will become, you, dear Reader, will walk away with something to chew on, something to affect you to push through, to become better, to overcome.

The only thing in life we can be certain of is change - and how we enter into that, makes all the difference in the world.

Come - let's begin. One raindrop on the way to our big ocean ...