Have you ever reached a point in your life where you don't know which way to turn? Where you're so far down the proverbial Rabbit Hole that you don't know how to get yourself out? That point where you've put this and that aside for so long that you are surrounded with chaos and you feel like you're drowning in a million things that need to be done yesterday?
I kinda feel like that now. A little bit like I'm slowly, very slowly in slow motion - going under.
Here's the thing - I feel like I've been putting my life aside to catch up for most of my life. And, that's an odd and not so comforting thought. Perhaps the closest I've come to 'living' in the moment, was the year I taught at CHS. My apartment was clean, my life was organized, I felt good about myself and I even dated. I haven't felt that since. But the years have passed and I look in the mirror and I am horrified - is that me? what happened? where did my life go? And, more importantly, can things still be changed?
This last week, I listened to a message by Rob Bell. In it, he shared about a time when he was driving himself into the ground, and a buddy came to him and said, "Man, you don't have to live like this. You don't have to live like this ... you DON'T have to live like this!" ... you DON'T have to LIVE like this ...Hey, you don't have to live like this. The whole of the message was about how religions through time demanded a sacrifice from their followers, how they believed that their god demanded something of them for their god to smile favorably on them and 'bless' them. And now, even now, when your 'religion' is beauty or that perfect body, these "religions" (for, face it ... that's what they really are) still demand a 'sacrifice' from their followers. And, sacrifices usually mean to give something up. And more often than not, that 'something' affects the rest of your life ... yes, sometimes in a positive way, but more often than not, in a negative way.
Think of my sister-in-law - her 'religion' was the desire to not grow old, to live the life she always wanted ... the sacrifice she gave? her family. Think of those kids who are depressed - their 'religion' is a perfect life they think they should have ... the sacrifice they give? their life. Or the husband who's 'religion' is his job, his lifestyle - his sacrifice? time with his family.
The thing is, according to what I claim to believe - I don't have to live like this. I don't have to do things or make sacrifices to make my 'god' happy. I have been redeemed so that it's not what I do for Him but about what He's done for me. So, in that, I've been set free. I've been set free from all that which makes others feel lesser-than, not up to others, a failure.
So, what does this have to do with being overwhelmed and catching up with life? What does this have to do with eating elephants? How does this all come together? Or does it? ...
Stay tuned, I'm not finished yet ...
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