Since beginning this shift from 'New Year's Resolutions' to 'Word of the Year', I've chosen some wonderful words to guide my years. And they all fit well. This year, because I know it is going to be a year of incredible turmoil - both for me and for my nation and world - the word given to me for this year is AMOR FATI. Love your fate. It comes again (like last year!), from stoicism, an ancient way of thinking that encourages people to accept reality, focus on what you can control, and develop resilience and self-mastery. My word last year was one, too. The thing is that I've realized some of these can link very nicely with my faith: last year, I have things to get done; this year, gratitude, learning, and presence in the moment. Amor Fati takes things a bit further, to not just accept the moment, but to love the moment, whatever life throws at you. And there are many times when I don't love the moment. But this tells me there's more than 'me' in the instant.
I know the year ahead is going to be a difficult one. with a change in leadership in both USA and Canada, and indicators saying that things are going to be rocky, this is a word I want to make into my anchor. Amor Fati - love your fate. And I believe that my "fate," what becomes my life - is part of my decisions and part of what happens around me over which I have no control. The thing is - through all if it, I am not alone. God goes with me, regardless of where I go. Of that, I am sure.
There has been a long struggle between fate vs free will vs pre-destiny. A quick explanation: Fate refers to a predetermined course of events, suggesting that our lives are largely controlled by external forces and that our choices have little impact; Free Will means we have the ability (or responsibility?) to make our own choices and actively shape our destinies, whatever your circumstances are, you have the capability within you to change it to what you desire; Predestination is more of a theological concept, often associated with a deity deciding in advance the course of someone's life, sometimes including the idea that certain individuals are chosen for salvation or damnation, often implying less individual agency than 'fate' alone.
When I read through those three definitions, I agree fully with none of them, but I do agree with bits of each of them. How's that for nebulous thinking?
- I do believe, in a sense, some things are pre-determined - in the way the sense that there are things that happen that our outside of your control. Maybe not so much 'pre-determined' but influenced by external forces, and in that, I have very little influence on those external forces. But I do not believe our choices have little impact on our own lives. I believe our choices have MUCH to impact on our lives, especially when you take into account what Viktor Frankl said about suffering and control: "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way" and "What a man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather that striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him." We live and be worthy of our suffering. (see Man's Search for Meaning by V. Frankl)
- My belief on free will can be read above. Like the definition of free with, I do believe we can impact our own lives based on our choices. but where it says "actively shape our destinies," that is where I believer there are things outside our control. If, for example, WW3 breaks down, I can choose my inner thoughts, I can choose how to respond to someone, but I might not be able to choose whether I get bombed or not. There are things I can control, like Frankl says, but I cannot control all aspects of my destiny.
- And predestination? No, I do not believe that God has absolute knowledge of the course of humanity - both as an individual and as an aspect of collective history. Well, that's a bit harsh - maybe God does, but I also believe there is much space for new directions. I do believe that nothing happens that is unknown to God, and I also believe that God does not directly step into humanity and alter the course of history. Could God? Sure. God is God. But I believe something else is going on here, outside of man's comprehension. Does God allow horrific things to happen? I guess, in a way, yes - but does God pre-destine horrific things to happen? No. those things are the consequence and result of man, not God. There is choice - and that's the connection to 'free will.' I'll even take that a step further and suggest that I believe God has imbued within us all sorts of gifts and abilities, for which God has a 'purpose' for each of us, for the community of all, but we have free will to choose that direction or not. We have free will on the effort we put into things, on searching and learning and persevering. There are aspects we have control over, there are aspects that God desires for us, but whether it happens ... that might be up to us. And, I also believe that God 'nudges' us in ways only God knows. Add to that, there is more to the collective community than to the individual existence. There is more to God than we can fathom; and love, by definition, also does not force. (This needs to be developed further in my On The Pilgrimage blog. It seems that what I actually believe is woven together from all three, yet never fully one.
If Chat GPT could be God, I might hear: My beloved Child. I see you. I know your pain, your weariness, your longing for light in heavy shadows. You are not alone - I am with you, holding you even now. Your breath is sacred, your live precious beyond measure. You may feel weak, but within you is a strength deeper than you know, a spark that cannot be extinguished. Rest in me. Let go of the burdens you were never meant to carry alone. One step at a time, my love. Even in te darkest night, dawn still comes. And I will walk with you into the light. (Me+Chat)
Amor Fati - Love your fate. Love my fate. Love the moment. Love the strengths and gifts and beauty of the world around me. Love the people. Love the moment. There are gifts available always - in suffering, in struggle, in joy, in celebration, in time. Always look for the gifts; always look to what can be learned. Always look for joy. Surround myself with beauty, even if that beauty is a breath of fresh air or a raindrop on the pavement. Or a pristine snowflake drifting above your nose.
I am resilient. I am loved. I am powerful. I am competent. I am capable.
I believe in myself. I am worthy. I am grateful. I am learning. I am redeemed.
I have two photos for this this year. They both remind me to "be where my feet are," to find the gift of the moment. whatever is to come, whatever will be, whatever will happen - God is with me, and I have nothing to fear. I am released to love the moment. His promises are true; in that lies my hope. In that lies my freedom to love. The bare feet mean I am connected to God's creation, I feel the energy of the earth, the substance and history of this land. Let me be a steward of our land, let me love the people of our land, let me be God's emissary in all that I believe God is. The jeans mean authenticity and "me." No mask, no pretend. Raw and real. Wrinkles and all. The green grass is creation, and all God has given to me. Not just land, but people and friendships, learning, how I am wired, my passions and what I know and where I ask questions and where I struggle. And yellow is beauty, is the sun/son, is love.
In a discussion once, I was struggling with fear, worry, and anxiety. Into this moment sliced Advent. And a message from a pastor: Jesus offers true Hope and brings inner Peace, not of the world, but of Him -- through His teachings of love, compassion, forgiveness, harmony, and understanding. He inspires people to see Peace inside and, in this wholeness, can be part of Peace outside. This is not just about what we have inside; this is about what we have inside that is then turned outward to others - to share, to live, to give to bring together in harmony and wholeness. It reminds me that despite the moment, there is something bigger going on here. Hope is the liberation to dive into the God-Life Relationship fully, without regrets, without hesitation or fear. I'm also reminded of Luther's "sin boldly" statement (another thing that needs elaboration in the Pilgrimage blog!) - simply, do not be afraid of sinning because your salvation is already assured. (And, I would hedge my bets and say "assured for all.") I am reminded there is Hope. That doesn't make it easy, but it makes it sure. And, if I truly am redeemed (and I believe I am, from nothing I have done, but because of what has been done for me), then I have nothing to fear. Then ... I have Hope for my future. No matter what happens now, my Hope is sure. when I see these pictures - remember this. Remember Amor Fati - to Love the moment - and the Hope and Peace that are my gifts IN that moment. In the moment of fear, anxiety, and worry are God's Love, Hope, and Peace. Waiting to be claimed. Always, with Gratitude.
Amor Fati. This year, I will love in every moment I am given.
